As I am writing this post, it has been more than 100 hours since Iran, my homeland, has been without internet access. During these days, many protests have taken place across the country, and many people—especially young individuals—have been killed by the government. The protests began in the final days of December and continued into early January, after which the government shut down the internet to cut off all forms of communication.

These days have been extremely difficult for me, as well as for many other Iranians. We had no news from our friends, families, or even from the country itself.

I went through many stressful moments filled with anxiety. It was hard to focus on my work and research. This is how I started the new year.

This morning, I was finally able to speak with my sister and my father for just six minutes. I cried the entire time. I couldn’t stop, and even now, as I write this post, I still feel deep sadness. I am relieved that they are safe and sound, but at the same time, my heart aches for the many people who were killed.

The cost of freedom in some countries is painfully high. People are asking for basic human rights—rights that are denied to them.

I don’t know what will happen next. I am exhausted by these ongoing struggles and by facing a cruel government that does not care about its people. I am tired of begging politicians to pay more attention to Iran. Tired of fighting.

I don’t know what the future holds, but from the bottom of my heart, I wish for a free Iran—one where everyone can live as they choose, with dignity and happiness.